sad..
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
mood a little affected..there's so much goin on...first was sly's family prob tat i got worried abt..dan the scolding frm mum abt voting fer sly last wk...dan the whole family's opinion abt sly..dan oli saying tat she'll support taufik and will maybe vote fer sly but oni once...dan got a msg which oso involves sly frm a fren..there's juz too much goin on...damn worried fer sly..im feelin terrible now...really..i wanna cry...i feel as if there's something i wanna get off my chest but i cant..die...tears rolling down cheeks le..i feel really bad fer voting fer sly last wk...nth wrong in supporting him but i made mum furious n oso pek cek...i feel really bad..i wanna sae sorry to her but it juz wont cum out of my mouth...coz vote 14 times fer sly last wk dan during the finals im not suppose to vote..but every vote matters...and i believe sylvester wans the s'pore idol title veri much..wad can i do now??? seems lyk nth...haiz..dan got hurt when everyone sae tat sly sucks or he's nt handsome or tat taufik will definitely win or tat sly cant sing and stuff lyk tat...it hurts ok..im telling ya now...it hurts..im human ehs...i haf feelings ya noe??? dan read the papers saying oli is rooting fer taufik..the way she talked abt the idol thingy is lyk as if she should be the final 2 wif taufik and sly should be out...quite mad when i saw the article..tink i gonna dislike oli...dan got a sms frm a fren but din really understand wad she meant at first..gotta read it lyk twice...dan was wondering wad tat msg she mentioned was saying..so came online and went to see it...saw the subject dan was lyk tinkin wad did i do..went on to see the content of the msg dan was a little upset bahx...i oso dunno lah..im not blaming anione here..definitely not blaming sly..its not his business...juz lyk wanna cry lor..but i tried to hold back my tears when i saw sly smiling..he's smile...makes mi wanna smile oso..but im crying as i type this now...cant seem to hold it le..but i stopped when i lift my head and saw sly smiling again...its as if he's smiling to mi...hahs..yea...probably in my dreams..dun feel lyk goin any where tml...i dun wanna step out of the hse..but i haf to...hrm..really lousy now...gotta control my feelings..i tot i was strong...but it seems lyk i may look strong on the outside but actually deep within im not strong at all..
